Saturday, January 23, 2010

We have a Love HATE relationship

For as long as I can remember, I have always been self conscious of my body. Even in high school, when I was 120 pounds, I was always the short curvy girl, flanked by tall lanky friends. Then I got married, ate too many pieces of wedding cake, had a baby, ate WAY too many congratulations chocolates, had another baby, and went from cute and curvy, to large marg! I complain and pinch and jiggle and sulk, but I never REALLY do anything to change the way I look. Not to make excuses, because I know PLENTY of mamas that make time in their busy schedules to work out, but I am TIRED by the end of the day. A 7 month old and a 2 year old are a lot of work, and by the time I have time to exercise, all I can think about is sitting on the couch and watching something other than a cartoon. I don't like gyms, and its not in our budget to have a membership. I take the kids on walks, but most of the times I don't get very far before Sofia wants out, Gavin drops a top off the side, and I have to stop a biz-zillion times to break up a brother sister fight. I have been kind of sown and out about this whole thing for a while, and the thought of summer time and pools and bathing suits has been haunting me. I knew I needed to get motivated somehow. So this is how it went down.
 A couple of weeks ago, we were at Target. surprise, and I saw Jillians face from the biggest loser on the cover of a bunch of DVD's. My initial reaction was" Bitch" cause lets face it, she is NASTY on that show.  Then i thought, she is exactly what I need. So, I bought her. She sat in the wrapper under my couch for two weeks up until tonight. I was sitting on the couch, and I wanted something sweet. So, I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. At 9:30 at night. Once they were finished, I thought to myself: Self, you are an idiot, You deserve to be chubby. You moan and groan about your thunder thighs, but do nothing about it. So eat those cookies fatty, but DON'T complain when you're done! So, I ditched the cookies. TEAR, and popped in my new Frenemy, and got my ass handed to me. I was right, Jillian is a bitch. I was huffing and puffing and sweaty my brains out, while she and her little tight abbed bimbos smiled the ENTIRE time! I wanted to punch them. Lets face it... I wanted to BE them. I managed to get thru the 20 minute work out without puking or passing out, but let me tell you, I was FELLING IT! Holy crap! She does not mess around. So, the plan is to do it 5 times a week, and either walk or do yoga on the off days. I am NOT going to stop eating, because I really enjoy good food, but I am going to be more aware of what goes in my mouth. I am already moody enough, we don't need to add angry starving girl to the mix. I just don't need chocolate chip cookies at 9:30 at night. I also hate scales. Ask anyone, When I pregnant it was written on my chart not to tell me how much I weighed. I just think its dangerous to get caught up in a number. I will record my inches lost. I think its about feeling better in my skin and in my clothes, not about the weight. And let me be clear that I am not looking to be super skinny. I like my curves, I would just like them to not jiggle so much when I move! I want to be comfortable with my body so that when my daughter is older, she will have a healthy role model. I NEVER want her to be self conscious about herself. We are a curvy girl family, we better learn to love.
So, here's to Jillian and her dumb tight abbed bimbo friends. Bring it on girls, bring it on!


  1. Lets be honest, Jillian looks good, but I want a little softer, curvier look! I'm right there with you....I need to try!

  2. as head stronge as you are,this will be easy !!!
    Love you Bubba ,Grandpa Harley

  3. once again you had me rolling on the floor laughing. I have it too, and after the first day I COULD NOT WALK. I made it through the first week, then got sick, then my boys were sick, so I kept making excuses. But I'm not home from my 3 weeks away from home and starting back. I lost like 4 or 5 inches the first week. It kicks butt! And I'm definitly looking forward to losing this last 20 pounds of baby weight.

    ps, you look beautiful in all your pictures. but i totally get it's not about what others think.


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