Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Getting Big

To be a mother is the most indescribable feeling in the world. The amount of love that you feel everyday for your babes is mind blowing. To get up day in and day out and have to be your best self, so that your children learn how to be good people, is the hardest most demanding, most gratifying job. Hands Down. These two babes make me better. In every way possible. A better friend, and better wife. They have taught me patients and humility. I have loved harder, cried harder, laughed harder, been beyond exhausted, fed up, and blissfully happy...... most times all in one day. They will never ever ever know how much I owe them, just for being born. 
And being all mine. 
This month my Son will turn three and 15 days later, Sofia will turn a year. 
When did this happen. When did my dream of someday being a mama, turn into a reality? I swear I put them to sleep all swaddled and cozy, smelling like Baby Lotion and breast milk just last night. I remember the first time I felt them in my belly. The first contraction, the first push. And just like that, they were here. And now, just like that, they are big. Now they smell like peanut butter and jelly and gold fish cracker. And they no longer need to be swaddled and rocked to sleep. Watching them grow is so wonderful, but it makes me sad at the same time. And my mind wanders and I think of the day they leave the house to start a life of their own. The day they find their soul mate and get married. The day they have babes of their own. The days when they wont need me to help them open a bottle of water, or buckle their car seat, read them a bed time story, or kiss an imaginary boo boo. 
Time goes by so fast.

Gavin you have turned into this perfectly rambunctious smart little man. You play hard and don't stop till the sun goes down and its time to sleep. You let me kiss you anytime I want, and you tell me you love me and always will. You are  my best guy. My partner in crime. My helper. I love you so much. Some days I catch myself staring at you, amazed my your long eye lashes and perfectly round big brown eyes. Proud that I made you. Proud that I am your mama. You melts my heart. 

Sofia. Oh Sofia. Where did this year go? I feel like it flew by faster than I expected it to. I remember the day you were born as if it was yesterday. How I would smell your breath and kiss your wrinkled toes. You didn't stay little for long. Now you are walking along side your brother, getting just as down and dirty as the boys. And just like your brother, you let me kiss you anytime I want, and hold my neck and squeeze me tight. We make promises to be best friends for always, and to always tell each other everything. And when you crawl up on my lap at night with your blanket in hand, and burry your tired head in my chest,  I look down at your perfectly beautiful face and I am proud I made you. I am proud I am your Mama. You melt my heart.

I love you both way down deep to my bones. Sometimes so much that it takes my breath away. You are my greatest adventure. I can't wait to see what next year has in store


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