Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A constant balancing act

****Stickers courtesy of Sofia****** 

 Today I wanted to give up. The stress of my day to day life was swallowing me whole. I had had enough of yelling at my children. I was done with their allergic reaction towards listening. My hose looks like it threw up on itself and no matter how many deep breaths I took, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was failing in every aspect of my life. The job of motherhood was taking it toll on my ability to be a good wife, a friend, a daughter. My children have run me ragged and they were winning. I called my mom in tears, begging for her to turn my naughty,apparently deaf children, into darling little angels, or I was going to jump off a building. Tears of exhaustion poured down my face. After reassuring words I hung up, washed my red puffy eyes, sent the children outside and I sat in the sun with my eyes closed and prayed.
 Here is what I came up with. I am Not a perfect mother and my children are not perfect children but no one is and that's ok. I don't respond to people screaming at me, so I should probably stop screaming at my children. I complain about how my days are long and all I do is yell, and I am quick to blame it on my my kids crazy behavior, but I have some blame in the attitude of my house. Our whole family is on a different page. The balance in our house is off and we are all fighting against each other instead of together. We're running ourselves in circles, and I am exhausted quite honestly.

 Parenting is hard, and somedays just plain ole sucks, but you don't give up or give in on the hard days. That's not fair to anyone. I teach my kids to keep trying no matter what, and it's about time to listen to my own advice. 

 And Son, instead of yelling you are going to have a permanent time out spot in the corner of your room so don't think you're off the hook kid-o - 

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