A Day Of Firsts and Lasts

  What I learned yetserday.......

 Its hard being 4. Its not easy or natural to get dropped off in a room full of kids you've never seen before and a teacher that knows your name but you have NO IDEA who she is. 

It's confusing and scary when your Mama and Daddy and baby sister kiss you goodbye and shut the door, leaving you with all these strangers. 

Being the Mama of the 4 year old boy that you had to drop off for his first day of school with all its new smells and new faces, and having him scream "MAMA PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME" is the hardest thing I ever had to do. 

Needless to say everything about the first day of school yesterday was hard. 

I was a wreck walking back to my car. Sofia cried, no sobbed, for her Big Brother all morning long. I had that anxious throw up felling in my stomach until I pulled into the parking lot to get him. 

When I got to his classroom door, I was so nervous to see how he was. He saw me and bolted to the door. He wrapped his arms around my legs and climbed up my body and squeezed tighter than I have ever felt him squeeze. 

"Mama you came back to get me!!!!!" 

I asked him how his day was and he said he liked school. That he drew a picture and was he teachers helper during story time. He met a couple friends and ate gold fish for snack. He said he was ready to go back on Friday 

I can not express how hard yesterday was for me. Pre School signified not only that my sweet boy was ready to be independent, to learn and play and grow, but it was also an end to the baby chapter of his life. My heart was so proud and so sad all at the same time. I was heartbroken that the lazy days of playing cars and reading stories and baking cookies all day everyday were coming to an end. It was a very big wake up call to how fast children grow up and how incredibly grateful I am that I got to spend the first four years of his life with him at home everyday. 

So Sweet Sweet Boy, I am so proud of you. I am so proud of how brave you are. I am so thankful for every teeny tiny memory we've made together, every cuddle every time out. All of those moments have made the past four years the most amazing, most rewarding days of my life.  I am so excited to see you learn and grow this year in school. 

And I will ALWAYS come back to get you. ALWAYS 

I love you to your bones 

Mama