Change

I know I know, I have sucked at updating this little ole' Blog. Truth is, it has been a crazy time in our lives and I don't have the energy to write it all down. The short version of it is we are moving this weekend. It is an unexpected move, and has been a very very hard road, but something our little family needs. I don't really want to go into details, but its been rough. 

Tomorrow we are going to the new house to paint the walls and clean up before we officially move in........ its kind of a symbolic thing for me in a way. A fresh coat of paint to cover up all the dings and scratches we've endured. 

A new start

I am anxious and stressed, but here's to change. Here's to a new chapter in our crazy book of life. 

I love you babes. Let's do this! 

Summer Is That You?

Two days ago it was dumping rain, and today we are doing this. 

When I Grow Up

 Its raining today which is a good thing because now it makes sense for Sofia to be wearing her rain boots. She loves those things and they have been on her feet for about two weeks now. We got to the Boys  school early today and watched the rain drops fall down the window and took silly pictures. 

She really digs this weather, and I dig her in a snow hat and boots. 

I love my mornings alone with her. 

As I was signing this boy out of class, his teacher came up and said that she was asking everyone what they wanted to be when they grow up. A Doctor, a Teacher..... when it was G's turn he said a Dad. She said "thats nice but don't you want to be something, like a Fire Man?"

 He said, "no, I just want to be a Dad like my Dad. "

She said that we  must be doing something really right at home because she could tell how much love our family has for one another. 

I felt so proud when she told me this. Lately I feel like we have been off our game, so it was so nice to hear someone from the outside notice that in our family. 

We will always struggle. There will never be enough money, someone will always disappoint us, we will always want more than we need. Life will always be a bit stressful, but we try hard everyday to make sure our family is first and, more so, that our babes feel loved. 

I hope you grow up and be just like Daddy too Son. 

I love you babes to your bones.

Snow Day

Today was Snow Day at school. They brought in big piles and let the kids go crazy.

 How fun right! 

Coffee Talk

Mom do you know our gardeners name? 

Son we don't have a gardener.

 Yes we do, Jerry Brown! 

Nothing like talking politics with a four year old over a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of coffee. We're back in school, sadly vacation is over. It's actually kind of nice to be back in a routine again. We took the babes to Disney on Tuesday as our last hoorah, and now we're being spoiled with beautiful 80 degree weather.

Happy Thursday Friends

Sincerely, Your Exhausted Mother

Dear Babes, 

I am two seconds away from taking you to the Dr to have your ears checked because you are the WORST listeners right now. You don't walk, you run, you scream instead of talk. You think its funny to hide my stuff and watch me freak out trying to find it. You can't leave each other alone for five seconds. If I hear "MOOOOMMMMM, Gavin/Sofia hit me" one more time it might just be the end of me. Sofias latest favorite phrase is "Thats Not FAIR". Tough cookies kid, you better get used to it. I say the same four things all flippin day...... Use kind words, don't touch each other, LISTEN, and unless someone is bleeding or unconscious STOP TATTLE TAILING! 

Sigh

Sofia is the sneakiest sassiest girl I know, and Gavin is mostly guilty by association. That may not be fair, but whatever, they pretty much even out in naughtiness by the end of the day. I would like one family outing where I don't have to threaten someone to get in the stroller, pull someone out of a clothes rack, leave someone crying on the floor in the cereal aisle because I won't open up a box of Lucky Charms. Just once I want to go out and not look like the crazy family with the Dragon Mom with monkeys for children. Sometimes I want to stop and throw a fit myself..... what do you think my kids would do if I freaked out crying  because I couldn't put my seat belt on the right way. 

His teacher says he is one of the best behaved in the class. She loves Gavin. Is it weird that when she told me he was such a good listener I wanted to punch her? I mean I LOVE his teacher so much but I am jealous some days that she gets all the good behavior and I am left with a tired whining boy that likes to fake burp his words and shoot his sister with Nerf darts. 

Bigger Sigh 

Oh parenthood, sometimes you are a big fat B word. Some days I just want to hang my hat and run away to a place with no Dora the Explorer or Chicken Nuggets or those stupid little Lego pieces that I step on every freggin day. 

But then I wouldn't have the sweet kisses and the " I love you mamas" or the babes that sneak in my bed in the mornings and wrap their arms around my neck and say "Good morning best friend". I would miss story time and our dance parties. I would miss being your mama. 

I love you to your bones babes, but lets try playing on the same team K.

****** SIDE NOTE***** 

In the middle of writing this post The Girl walked up and turned off my computer. Yup, she's a little butt head

Here We Go Again

I love this time of year. 

Its chilly out, the leaves are turning, you can wear socks to bed and not sweat your brains out. Holidays are right around the corner and baking cookies three times a week is considered an acceptable thing to do. 

I am a big fan of FALL and everything that comes with it.......

almost

My least favorite thing is that this Boy gets sick this time every year. Not just runny nose sick, we're talking the cough till he pukes sick. Yup, remember all of my tired desperate posts about this last year. Welp, my little man has fallen victim once again.

 He was up ALL night last night hacking. 

I have that horrible anxious feeling every time he coughs that throw up is close to follow. 

It all pretty much sucks. 

I hope you feel better soon little bug. 

I love you to your bones 

The Things She Says

We dream big in this house. who doesn't want to grow up just to chew gum:) 

JUST SLEEP!

Dear Little Girl, 

 I love you. I love to cuddle on the couch with you and rub your back while we tell stories and count all the freckles on our arms. I love how your legs drape over mine and your chubby little hands grab my cheeks to give me a kiss. I love all of these things so so much..... 

but....

NOT AT 2 a.m.

Sweet babe, you need to go to sleep! The past month you have been a big fat pain when it comes to going to sleep and your Mama and Daddy are TIRED! Please please stop waking up twenty seven times a night and hopping in my bed. Please dig your toes into your stuffed animals back, because mine is sore. Please hog all the covers from your babies, and GET OUT OF MINE! 

I love you sweet girl, but you are being evicted from my bed. Please please please PLEASE stay in your bed tonight. I'll give you a million dollars.  

Love, 

Your Over Tired Mama 

A Day Of Firsts and Lasts

  What I learned yetserday.......

 Its hard being 4. Its not easy or natural to get dropped off in a room full of kids you've never seen before and a teacher that knows your name but you have NO IDEA who she is. 

It's confusing and scary when your Mama and Daddy and baby sister kiss you goodbye and shut the door, leaving you with all these strangers. 

Being the Mama of the 4 year old boy that you had to drop off for his first day of school with all its new smells and new faces, and having him scream "MAMA PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME" is the hardest thing I ever had to do. 

Needless to say everything about the first day of school yesterday was hard. 

I was a wreck walking back to my car. Sofia cried, no sobbed, for her Big Brother all morning long. I had that anxious throw up felling in my stomach until I pulled into the parking lot to get him. 

When I got to his classroom door, I was so nervous to see how he was. He saw me and bolted to the door. He wrapped his arms around my legs and climbed up my body and squeezed tighter than I have ever felt him squeeze. 

"Mama you came back to get me!!!!!" 

I asked him how his day was and he said he liked school. That he drew a picture and was he teachers helper during story time. He met a couple friends and ate gold fish for snack. He said he was ready to go back on Friday 

I can not express how hard yesterday was for me. Pre School signified not only that my sweet boy was ready to be independent, to learn and play and grow, but it was also an end to the baby chapter of his life. My heart was so proud and so sad all at the same time. I was heartbroken that the lazy days of playing cars and reading stories and baking cookies all day everyday were coming to an end. It was a very big wake up call to how fast children grow up and how incredibly grateful I am that I got to spend the first four years of his life with him at home everyday. 

So Sweet Sweet Boy, I am so proud of you. I am so proud of how brave you are. I am so thankful for every teeny tiny memory we've made together, every cuddle every time out. All of those moments have made the past four years the most amazing, most rewarding days of my life.  I am so excited to see you learn and grow this year in school. 

And I will ALWAYS come back to get you. ALWAYS 

I love you to your bones 

Mama 

Holy Crap I'm Not Ready

I have been in major denial about this very day all summer long. I can't think about it without my eyes welling up with tears. 

Tomorrow my sweet Son goes to his first day of school. 

Hang on while I breath into my paper bag. 

I am a ball of nerves. I break out into a sweat thinking about the drop off tomorrow. 

I officially need a 12 Step Program for "Letting Go" 

I know he is ready, and I know I need the break...... 

But I am HAVING A COW 

Hopefully I will have a recap tomorrow of the big event, if I can stop crying long enough to see straight 

A Summer Night and Set of Wheels

My son had a gift. He is great at just about everything he does, and he is fearless. He is brave and confident and determined. Last night he decided he wanted to ride his bike without his training wheels. So Daddy took them off and told Gavin that he would hold the back of his seat until he felt comfortable balancing all by himself. 

"No thanks Daddy. I can do it myself" 

And he did

He lifted his feet up a couple times to get the feeling of what balancing is and then backed his bike down the drive way and took off. 

5 minutes and he was ready.

The look on his face. The enormous smile that stretched from ear to ear as he sped down the side walk. It took my breath away. 

"I'm DOING IT!!!!! I told you I could do it!!!!" he screamed as he wizzed by. His chest was puffed up with pride. He knew he was 'the man'. 

I never you doubted you for a second sweet boy.

It's making memories like these that made me want to be a mama.  

You rock my world with the things you accomplish and when I grow up 

I want to be JUST like you 

The Sweet Things

This is why my life is so beautiful. 

There a million crappy, not so great, terribly wrong, super stressful, make me wanna cry, things that happen everyday that make being a mama tough. But then there are moments like this that take my breath away because they fill my heart up so full with love I think it might burst. 

There have been so many stories going around lately of friends of friends that have just had babies that have been born with difficulties. Babies that need emergency surgeries and transplants, things that you would never want your  brand new sweet babe to endure, and even some stories of babies that just couldn't endure any longer.
These stories have weighed heavy on my heart. They have made me open my eyes to how lucky I am to have healthy babies that get to run and play and live happy healthy lives. They have reminded me of how grateful I need to be that I get to kiss these sweet babes every night before they go to bed and every morning when they wake up. To take a long deep breath during the trying times that raising children inevitably bring, and hold them tight for as long as I can.

I love you sweet babes.
I am so thankful for you
I love you to my bones. 

Beach Bunny

Happy Monday from the beach. Hope you all had a great weekend. We sure did. I would write about it but it's too beautiful outside to sit in front of the computer. 

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Don't Bother Us We're Swimming

If the sun is out, this is where you will find my children. 

I'm actually starting to think they are growing fins. 

An I should probably admit that on more than one occasion I have laid in a raft with my book durning nap time. 

Gotta love $30 blow up pools to beat the heat around here

Happy Weekend Friends, we're gonna go jump back in!

Heat Wave

NO SHOES 

NO SHIRT 

NO PROBLEM 

It's smokin hot out and I don't think my kids have had real clothes on in over than five days. 

Just Love

No matter how crazy my day

How tired my eyes

How chaotic Life gets 

I am most grateful for you