Oh Friday

Happy Friday Everyone! 

Here is s a little sunshine love to warm you all up on the East Coast. Once again, us Cali folks are spoiled with beautiful warm weather this weekend.  

Here are my goals for the next two days

- finish painting my dining chairs 

- find some thrifting treasures for my babes room

- hopefully a baby will be born.... I WILL walk that baby out of you Anthea! 

- dye my hair

- treat my babes to ice cream 

- kiss my husband more than ten times 

- plan a bridal shower 

- talk to a friend I miss so much my gut hurts 

- a Valentine craft

- run in bubbles from our new bubble machine with the children... seriously so fun, you should try it 

- and maybe a movie date with  my man. no kids. and we have to hold hands 

What's on your weekend agenda ? I hope its a good what whatever you do! 

A New Hue

hope ya'll had a good weekend! We decided to re do the kids room so we have been painting. sewing, thrifting, more painting, hanging things, moving furniture.... you get the picture. We still have a ways to go, but I will post before and afters as soon as we're done! 

Mexican Rice With a Side of Tears

Last night was taco night. I love taco night. While I was preparing our meal, I got an instant craving for my Grandmas mexican rice. I must have eaten this rice five times a week my entire childhood, but I never bothered to watch her do it. Something I now kick myself for. I could remember what it tasted like, how it smelled. I decided to call my Great Aunt Rose. She is my Grandmas sister. Everything about them is the same, except my Aunt has beautiful snow white hair and wears bright red lipstick. My Grandma had Clairol Light Auburn hair and wore bright pink lipstick. Other than that they are the same. Their hands look the same, they laugh the same, the way one  eye is bigger than the other, all the same. So I picked up my phone to call my Great Aunt Rose, and as she said "hello", it hit me like a ton of bricks. They have the same voice. This I was not prepared for. For four years I have longed to hear my Grandmas voice, and all of a sudden, it was like I was talking right to her. I held it together long enough to ask her for the recipe, ask how she was and tell her we missed her. As I hung up the phone and added the tomato sauce to my browning rice, I broke into a million pieces and a million tears fell from my eyes and into the pan. I was heartbroken.

When my Grandma passed away over four years ago, I was at peace with it. She had battled for months, and when she finally went, we were with her in her room as she took her last breath. I had said my good byes. I had told her everything I needed to tell her. She was no longer in pain and I was grateful for that. I was at peace. I was ok.
As the years go by, I realize I miss her more intensely than I thought I ever would. I thought I had said everything I needed to to be ok with her not being here. I was wrong. Last night, talking to my Aunt, I wished it so badly to be my Grandma. I sat in her kitchen, making her rice, heartbroken that I couldn't tell her that I loved her. That my daughter looks just like her, and is just as strong willed as she was. To ask her for help when my babes get sick. To thank her for teaching me how to love my babies, because she loved us so much. To tell her that Gavin squeezes my hand three time to say I love you, just like she used to do to me.  To show me how to make her potato salad and vegetable soup so I can make it for my Grandpa on stormy days. To tell her how much he misses his wife. I want to tell her that my son walks around with her picture and asks when he can see this Grandma. To tell her I love her and miss her, and I want her back.

I sat by myself in the kitchen. The kitchen I grew up in, at the same stove she cooked her rice at. Then I realized something. That was her blessing to me. To be able to live in her house and cook in her kitchen for my family, the way she did for us. It is because of that, I get to remember her everyday. There are times when I walk into the bathroom and I swear I can smell her hand cream. I am grateful for these reminders.

The older my children get, the harder it is for me that she is not here to share it, but I will forever be grateful that my babes get to grow up in her house with all if her memories. I will try to make her kitchen smell the way it did when she cooked in it. And I will try to love my family the way she did.

I love you I love you I love. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you, but also not a moment that I am not grateful for every second I had with you.

Once I got myself together and the tears stopped, I called my Mom and told her I loved here. I know there will be a day when I won't be able to do that anymore, so I will do it as much as I can for as long as I can.

A New Year and a New Mr. & Mrs.

Most years we spend New Years Eve in our cozy clothes in our living room, eating every appetizer Trader Joe's makes, with our friends. Not this year ladies and gentleman. This year, my cousin got married at Ponte Winery on New Years Eve ! Our AMAZING friends the Cotton's hosted our kids' first sleep over, and this Mama and Daddy got a hotel room out in Temecula and had THE BEST night EVER! It was so fun to be with my family and party it up with my cousins! Steve and I had so much fun together, it really was the best time. We danced and laughed and sealed it all with a kiss and midnight. 

Ok, maybe a couple of kisses ;) 

Heather was a GORGEOUS bride, and they looked so happy to start their new life together. Thanks for having us Mr. and Mrs. Burton! It was a BLAST!

My camera was being a jerk that night so I only got a few pics, and this one os my favorite. This is the look Chuck had on his face as the doors opened to reveal  his bride. I don't think he could look any happier.

Me, my Mama, and my GORGEOUS Sister and PROOF that I can wear more than holy jeans and sweat pants.

 And Sadly, because my camera decided to crap out on me , this is the only picture we got together. We are lookin' a little spiffy, even though are out of focus. Wait maybe it was all that champagne that made us out of focus. Hey, we had a babysitter, and it was NYE, we took full advantage :)

Congratulations Chuck and Heather!!!! 

Weekend Roundup

This weekend was beautiful. It was like the best day of summer all weekend long. We spent all day everyday outside, went to the swap meet, jumped on our trampoline, went to a birthday party, played in the dirt, ate take out sushi (yum), spent allllll day Sunday with our best friends. It was the perfect weekend. The only bummer was the The Husband had to work :( but thank goodness for best buds to make time go by fast :) 

Oh how I LOVE the SUNSHINE  

 Introducing Popeye Face. I don't know where it came from but I think its hilarious and so does she. And this picture of Gavin was just too amazing not to post.

Thanks for a fun weekend babes! I love you to your bones 

What's That Smell ??

I like a good wine, a good fitting pair of jeans, the perfect chocolate cake recipe

 and 

a good household cleaner. 

Behold, FABULOSO

And seriously, with a name like that, it has to be good right! 

Lucky for me it is! One of my girlfriends told me about this stuff, so I picked up a bottle today at Wal Mart and I'm hooked. I am always looking for new cleaners, especially for my bathroom because it always smells like pee because I live with boys you can't aim. Don't get me started on that. This stuff is AMAZING! It has the strongest sent ever, and it smells good. I poured some in my sink and added some water, cleaned away, and WA LA... NO MORE pee smell!!!!! Its a a miracle! Now my whole house has been given a scrub down by this stuff and it smells soooooo good! 

So grab yourself some and have a FABULOSO day! 

( sorry I had to, it was just too easy) 

Sunshine on My Shoulders

 Makes Me Happy 

                                                                                       

Its warm outside. 

Warm enough to roll the windows down and take a drive. 

So we did

And we loved it 

And I just had to post this picture of my handsome men. They really are somethin' aren't they? 

And on a completely different note, Sister thinks its fun to be naked and sit on a potty all day. She has yet to actually "go" in it, but I guess its a start. 

A New Year

Well hey there friends. Did you all have a good New Years? I know its been a while since my last post, but I feel like the holidays were such a whirlwind, things are just starting to settle down. I have a million pictures to post, a bunch of stuff to catch up on, but I decided that first I would write about my Resloutions for this year.

Do you make New Years Resolutions?  In years past, I have not. I've just always thought they were kind of silly, and no one ever follows thru on them. Blah Blah Blah

2010 was a funky year for me. I feel like it was the year of Transition. It was a rough, hard, very emotionally draining year. My kids were in transition ages, both growing but at different times and to different stages. I had to learn how to be two different mothers to two different babes at the same time. Sofia wasn't a squishy little baby that I could just bounce on my hip and make goofy noises too anymore. I had to figure out how to parent both of my kids separately, but equally. Does that make sense? I feel like as a mother of small children we try to lump them all into one category. They all have to play by the same rules, do the same things, respond the same way. Truth is, this just isn't fair or realistic. Gavin is 3 1/2 and needs to treated so. He needs to be stimulated in a more ways than just watching cartoons and playing with cars. He shouldn't always have to share his toys with his baby sister. Those are his toys. I don't want to share my favorite pair of shoes with anyone, why should he have to share his favorite car? Sofia is still a baby. She needs me in a different way. She needs to sit on my lap and read a book,, cut up her food and teach her her animal sounds. She shouldn't get in trouble for sticking DVD's in our brand new Wii. She needs a little extra love at bed time.... she's still so small. These are all things I started to lose sight of towards the end of last year. I was tired, exhausted really. I tried to treat them the same, because I though that was what would make it easy, when in turn, it completely back fired. So, my first Resolution is to be more in tune with what each of my children need individually. To not have one set of rules for everything. To not make them grow up faster than they have to, so that they are on an equal playing field. I work hard at this everyday, its a tough one, but since I've really started paying attention to this, our days are so much more pleasant  and they are so much more responsive. Hallelujah!!!

Resolution #2:

Pay more attention to being a wife as well as a mother. This ones a biggie. Its no news flash that marriage is work. Not like a job, but its something that needs to be maintained in order to stay healthy and happy, and something that grows instead of remaining stagnant. Steve and I have been together for almost 11 years, married for almost 7. We have two young children, and our first priority to is to be the best parents we can be to them. The last six months were rough on us. We put SO much energy on being parents, and making sure our kids felt loved and taken care of, that we didn't give much time to do that for each other. We woke up one morning and realized we missed how our marriage was before things got so busy. We felt disconnected. We weren't fighting or mad, nothing huge happened, but we just realized we were awesome parents, but we missed each other. We missed the feeling of being the center of each others universe. We needed to figure out a way to balance parenthood and marriage, something that has been the hardest but most rewarding lesson I have learned. I know my babies know I love them. They are happy and healthy and smart. I know we have been excellent parents to them, and because of that, I know they will not suffer if Steve and I spend a little more time on "us". As a parent you feel guilty not putting your children first, but I have learned that sometimes its ok, because in order for a family to work, all relationships need to be strong. Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated. In the beginning of a relationship you don't have to work at it feeling fun and fresh, because it just is. Ten years down the road, life happens, babies happen, bills happen. Instead of splitting yourself two ways, you are pulled in twenty different directions. And then one morning you wake up and realize you miss someone who sleeps next to you every night. Weird right? Its a strange realization to know you have been neglecting something that is right there in front of you all the time. So , we have decided that this year is dedicated to "us". Normally this time of year I am preparing to have a baby, but this year there is no bun in the oven. Our babes are at the age where they are more independent so we can focus more on our relationship. I suppose its kind of how people feel when their kids leave for college. They have to get to know each other all over again. So thats what we're doing.  We're dating again .

Resolution #3

Eliminate fat talk. This one is HUGE for me. My whole life, I have always looked in the mirror and seen a little chubster, even when I wasn't. As a woman, we always compare and criticize our bodies. We let body image define who we are. I know there are people who think, if you don't like what you see, then change it. And I agree, to an extent. I have struggled with this issue my whole life. My body has birthed two babies. My hips have widened, my belly jiggles, and my booty has a little cushin for the pushin. I have spent too many days wishing I looked different. Putting myself down for not being the mom who bounced back into her high school jeans after having babies. For devaluing  myself because I don't kill myself at the gym, or count calories. For some people, that works. Some people have chosen that life style. More power to them!  Some days I wish I could be more like them. But the truth is, most days I don't. I don't like to think about what I look like and how much I weigh. Honestly, I don't care. I care about feeling strong and being healthy for my kids, but it stops there. If I have a big butt for the rest of my life, big deal. There are worse things I could be than chubby. I am a good mama, a good wife, a good friend, and I will no longer let society make me feel otherwise because of my weight. I will no longer call myself fat. If my daughter grew up to look just like me, I would NEVER tell her the things I tell myself, so it stops now. I am proud of my body. It made two beautiful babes. I do not resolve to go on a diet or work out till I puke, but I will be more respectful of how I treat myself and make healthy choices. I know this is gonna be a tough one for me, but really, we all need to be ok with ourselves. All of ourselves, even the chubby parts.

Resolution #4

Cut my self some freggin slack! I am not super woman. I can not be ten places at one time. I will mess up. My children will be naughty and I will lose my bananas.  I will forget to call a friend back and flake on lunch dates because I don't want to put make up on. SO WHAT! NO one is perfect, everyone loses control, I need to get over it.

So there you have it. My list of things to work on for this year. Last year was the rear of Transition, and this year is the year of Transformation. I'm kind of excited to see what's next

So here's to a NEW YEAR!!!!! Hope all of you are enjoying your fresh start!

Christmas Day

Christmas morning was just like a I pictured it. I woke up before anyone else, started a pot of coffee, popped breakfast in the oven, and paced up and down the hall waiting for my babes to wake up. I think I was more excited then they were. When they finally decided to join us, their reactions to Santa's midnight drop off did not disappoint.  It tool about three minutes for all of the wrapping paper to be ripped off of their packages covering EVERY inch of the living room. 

The Mama and Daddy snugged on the couch with a hot cup of Joe and watched the babes play with all their new treasures. It was perfect. 

Later that morning we headed to Grandma and Grandpa Rodgers house for some homemade waffles, MORE presents, and ended with a snow storm courtesy of Uncle Chris. 

Christmas is kind of bitter sweet for me. We spend all month planning and decorating and waiting to see the looks on our babes faces, and in a flash its all over. 

Till next year Christmas, you sure were good to us this year